*Disclaimer: I am not a professional/expert in theology (i.e., I do not have a formal degree/education in theology). Therefore, I encourage all readers to fact-check, and study for themselves the topics at hand–do not take my word for it! The purpose of this blog is to bring questions and potentially new perspectives to various topics related to theology and the Christian walk, from my own experience and growing study. The content I share is largely from my own life-experience, opinion, and drawn from the limited scope of books I have read. If there is something I share that is incorrect, questionable, or misleading, please do not hesitate to reach out and contact me at zoeyalyward@gmail.com.*
This has been on my mind for a while now.
Throughout my life I’ve teased and ridiculed; I’ve had a hard time standing up for myself. Even “little” things like saying “no” to something planned with a friend–I usually bite the bullet even though I’m more than exhausted or have other things I need to catch up on.
I guess I’ve never thought about a Christian perspective on it though; I guess I thought I had to more-or-less “deal with it.” And in my recent research on the topic, I was intrigued that I hadn’t been able to find many writings at all about it. So I thought I’d contribute my own current thoughts and theories on it, with definitely much room to grow and develop upon.
Theory 1: Hyper-Grace’s “Treat Your Enemies like Royalty”
I call this theory “Treat Your Enemies like Royalty” because it appears to imply that one needs to launch beyond any kind of “forgive and forget” when someone hurts you, and immediately go the extra mile for your bully.
I don’t know about you, but it has always seemed that there is more to the bullying-reality than just loving your enemies. Right?
But I often get hung up on this theory, thinking and knowing it was what Jesus would’ve done, and what he did do when he died on the cross for the sake of those very souls who abused and ultimately killed him.
Jesus was a peacemaker.
And he wouldn’t pay back evil for evil.
No, he’d turn the other cheek.
And then go buy his accuser and destroyer eternal life.
Some of the verses that have contributed to this thinking-theory I hold include:
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
(Mt. 5:44-5)
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
(1 Pet. 3:9)
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
(Rom. 12:18-19)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.
(Mt. 5:38-41)
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
(Leviticus 19:18)
On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
(Rom. 12:20-1)
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
(Lk. 6:27-28)
Still I find myself skeptical that this is the Christian’s sole response to hurt and bullying. I wonder if there’s more to the story.
Theory 2: Justice-Seeking Revenge
Okay.
So if Theory 1 isn’t good enough, then what if we looked at the exact opposite perspective–paying back the bully the revenge and justice we deserve.
Didn’t Jesus also stand up for himself when he needed to in the temple when he flipped over those tables?
Some of the verses that have contributed to this thinking-theory I hold include:
Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.
(Proverbs 25:26)
Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’
(Mt. 21:12-13)
. . . Nevermind . . .
There isn’t that many supporting verses for this theory as I had originally thought. It was worth a try though.
It just looks at Jesus flipping tables, with the concept of “not being a doormat” for the wicked to come to one’s own conclusion of paying back evil-for-evil.
So scratch Theory 2.
Ahhhhhhhhh.
But–and I don’t know about you–but I’m still largely unsatisfied about just holding tight to Theory 1.
It seems like there must be more.
There’s gotta be something I’m missing, because I don’t want to be a doormat towards others for the sake of “turning the cheek.”
Theory 3: Wait a Second! Justice Belongs to God!
Might I suggest a middle-ground? Is that even possible?
Some of the verses that have contributed to this thinking-theory I hold include:
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
(Exodus 14:14)
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
(Romans 12:17-19)
I said to myself, “God will bring into judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time to judge every deed.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:17)
For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”
(Hebrews 10:30)
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.
(Isaiah 30:18)
I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy.
(Psalm 140:12)
Solution: A Marriage of Theories 1 & 3!
In all these verses (and probably more that still exist in the Bible!), we learn that the reason we can (Theory 1) Love our Enemies is that: (Theory 3) God will Repay and Bring Justice in Our Lives.
The Extreme Downsides to Each Theory, Exclusively
(A) Only Theory 1
We would be loving our enemies basically because “Jesus said so.” We have no hope in the fact that things would be made right. We would learn to become deeply disillusioned and hopeless because our bullies would get away with the hurt they have caused us without any recourse whatsoever. We would have a challenging and discouraging life; and we would face much fear and anxiety and the thought of what our bullies would do or say next, without anyone to prevent it.
(B) Only Theory 2
We would approach the world with anger and revenge, taking offense at what others did or said in our lives. We would take justice and revenge into our own hands and “pay back evil for evil,” no matter the cost. We would be anxious and fearful all the time. We would have a restless and never-ending-competitive life, as there would always be one more person to pay back. We would only contribute to the hurt within this world, instead of fixing and redeeming it, teaching the world another way.
(C) Only Theory 3
If we realized that God was on our side and was responsible and would accomplish all the justice we may otherwise seek in our lives, we may go to the extreme of not taking any personal responsibility for the justice-seeking and loving responses God has called us to embody. Although God is primarily responsible for the “justice out-workings” within our lives, we are not totally off the hook here. There is work to be done.
Not doing this work of love and justice in our own life-contexts, may inhibit some of the means and instruments of justice God desires to accomplish in our lives.
So . . . How Do You Live Out A “Loving-My Enemies, While Trusting in the Justice of God?”
Good question.
I believe it’s largely about faith. About trusting God no matter what. As we often have to respond with to most challenging circumstances in our lives.
Some of the verses that have contributed to trusting God include:
Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
(Ps. 37:3-5)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
(Prov. 3:5)
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
(Ps. 46:10)
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
(Ps. 28:7)
Soft Conclusion for Today
The topic of how to respond to people who hurt you is something I’m just starting to tackle myself.
Today we talked about three theories I have on how we should respond to bullying, based on what the Bible says (or what I want it to say!) on bullying.
It is my plan to investigate the topic deeper when it comes to what the Bible says on bullying. Specifically in regards to the “three-strand cord” of Theories 1, 2, and 3, and how I can integrate “partial truths” from all three theories into one interwoven response to how to respond to bullying.
I want to specifically investigate and observe how Jesus responded to bullying when he walked this earth. And how can I bring the example of Jesus into my own life-context?
Prayer
God, I pray for the reader, and myself, and all those worldwide who have been and are being and will be hurt by others. Unfortunately evil is part of our world. I pray that you would teach us, Lord, how to love others as you have loved us, and you would help us to trust you with these hurts in our lives, as we know that (although it is hard to accept sometimes), justice ultimately belongs to you Father. I pray that your justice would be shown in our lives. I pray for provision. I pray for strength and endurance for us to get through each day. I pray that you would show us, God, just how to walk on this earth like you did. I pray for insight and revelation into our life-contexts about #1 how you are working in it, and #2 how you want us to participate in the work you are doing.
Thank you Lord that you have not given up on us, and that you continue to watch over us, no matter how dark and complicated and challenging our lives may get. Thank you for your mercy, and your mercies new upon new each day.